Friday, December 2, 2011

Bless their heart.

There are many wonderful things about the South. One of them is this very popular saying, "Bless their heart." Once this is said the say'er has carte blanche to completely insult that person.

Let me tell you. IT IS AN INCREDIBLY USEFUL conversational tool.

I mean, a lady (especially a Southern lady) wouldn't want to demean herself by speaking ill of her neighbor. BUT! We've got loads of gossip/bad stuff to say about them. What to do, what to do?

They say necessity is the mother of all invention. Enter three very important words. . .bless their heart.

Now that you have an insight into Southern ways I will continue with my story.
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My neighbors; bless their heart, should be destroyed for how they have hung their Christmas lights. Some may think this is possibly too strong of a statement. It is not. Let me tell you this, it is much much worse in person. It is an abomination. We watched the process unfold in disbelief.

Watching. . . waiting. . .wondering; are they INTENTIONALLY hanging that hodge-podge collection of lights together with ABSOLUTELY NO REGARD for its effect on the human eye. They also disregarded the precious brain that must process the images that the eyes send it. And the brain REMEMBERS with frightening detail the arrangement/colors of lights! THE HORROR. THE HORROR!

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I'm not very good with my NEW! camera yet, but I'm trying to give you a better idea of what we are experiencing here. The desert has many charms, but a backdrop for Christmas lights? Um, I'd probably just have to pass on that. But hey, we don't have to shovel anything wet and cold!

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Again! Sorry for the fuzzy picture, but if I take it with my flash it doesn't show the wonderful spectrum of colors we are subjected to every time we come home after dark.

Maybe we'll just have to take a page out of Will Smith's book in I am Legend and get home before the horribleness begins. This is just about as awful as super-strong, human-eating zombies trying to rip the flesh off your body. This is where being color blind would actually work for you.

Disclaimer!
Our neighbors are incredibly nice people, but they have horrible, horrible taste. And for that, they deserve to be judged and condemned.

Bless their hearts.

2 comments:

shell said...

I am a mess of giggles. I love it!

Bethany said...

LMAO hilarious! hope they don't read back on your blog one day!

camera tip - set your shutter speed in the hundreds - using your shutter priority setting. wa la!