A new day.

No, I'm not rocking out to Taylor Swift in this moment. I am sitting in a silent dark hospital bed feeling love, gratitude and humility. I am sure that my words will not be able to entirely express these sentiments but I will make an attempt.

Tomorrow we leave the hospital first thing. Jack is better; all is well. But he isn't the only one who is changed for the better; this entire experience has forever changed me.

Change often gets a bad rap. It is looked at as something that we often unwillingly embark upon because we have no alternative. A push if you will; a gently nudge to do something that will help us grow. I find myself softening, I would never say that I was a hard person by any regard but I find myself looking at everyone with kindness in my heart. Compassion. Holding eye contact a brief moment longer, smiling more generously, taking moments with people who I maybe would have never noticed. These outward expression of kindness is simply a result of my inward feelings spilling out.

I hope this comes across in the true nature this is intended. I'm not trying to get up here and declare how wonderful I am. I hope you sense that.

This change; this softening is a wonderful feeling. Heartwarming is the best adjective I could probably use. I am so grateful for these feelings. Whatever small happiness I am able to share by virtue of this is minuscule in comparison with what I receive. I feel within me a broad sense of well being, of purpose. These feelings grow and I can almost feel my shoulders pushing back accepting them more deeply, a warmth encompasses and accompanies me.

In Proverbs it says, "As a man thinketh in his heart so is he."

Brilliant. You feel love and kindness for your fellow man then you are symbiotically filled up yourself. And that, that is what I mean when I say whatever kindness I give is minuscule in regard to what I receive. It almost feels like cheating. You do something for another; they feel better, but you? You feel ah-mazing.

Needing people, having to humble yourself and ask for help is hard for me.

No. . .no, um I don't need any help, I got this. I can do hard things all by myself; thank you very much.

But this time, with so much on the line I opened up. Begged for help from anyone who would listen. I asked the Target checkout lady who was admiring Jack to please pray for him as he was having heart surgery next week, just to give you an idea.

. . .and that single act of my humbling myself and asking for help began a monumental shift within. Without you, all of you, it would not have gone to the depth and breadth that it did. I asked you to pray for Jack, for me; give us comfort, guidance, safety and peace.

I have never had an experience that even touches what I have felt. The power of your prayers has been felt so deeply I cannot adequately express my thankfulness. I needed the comforter to accompany me in this difficult time. I anticipated this week being the most difficult trying time of my life. It hasn't been. Every step of the way I was so infused with the power of the spirit that fear and doubt crept away.

Troubling things would come up in Jacks recovery, I always felt a peace that things would work out. What a blessing this was! I know that prayer is powerful. That it works. That even in moments of absolute fear and panic there can be a gentle calm within.

You gave this to me. Through the generosity of your love and goodwill I felt what it truly meant to love your neighbor.