Growing up is a hard, messy business; filled with do-overs, amazing triumphs, and regrets over how we wish we would have acted. Friday was such a day for Owen.
Owen walking behind, witnessing all of this.
Justin pushed Luke again and they both continued ridiculing and taunting Luke. Finally, Garron told them to leave Luke alone and got pushed for his trouble (way to be Garron!). Luke ran home and buried his head in his pillow, sobbing.
Moments later, Owen walked in and saw me with Luke. He tried to pretend that he didn't know what was going on. After I finished comforting Luke, I took Owen aside and told him that this is the most disappointed that I have ever been in him. I teared up a bit and told him that he blew it back there, royally. One of the most important things you can do in your life is to have the courage to stick up for your family, even if you're scared.
Owen was sobbing at this point and pounded his fists against the wall saying, "I'm just so mad at myself! I kept thinking while it was happening, 'if Justin does one more thing, I'll step in,' but I didn't and now I can't take it back. UGH, I'm just SO sorry! I didn't want to get into a fist fight with Justin and I knew that if I said something we would, so I didn't. I know that I should of, but I didn't and now I'm so mad at myself!!" he wailed.
We went and sat down in another room. I told Owen that sometimes we totally blow it when it counts, and today that happened to him. Luke needed his big brother--who is WAY bigger than either of those boys--to stick up for him and show those kids that the Meads stick together. That even if you get the crap kicked outta you--you stand up for your people when they get picked on. (Later, I did just this thing; retrieving the candy and an apology from the offending boys.)
I told Owen that at these moments we show what we're all about. Yes, it's hard sometimes and yes, it's going to be embarrassing or unpopular sometimes, but that's when it matters most. We hugged and the last thing I told him was to use this experience--how badly he felt right then--to make sure that the next time--there will certainly be a next time--to do what's right.
Let's aim to be courageous, not cowardly.
1 comment:
O my gosh, I am completely in tears right now, for both boys. What a learning and growing experience for Owen as hard as that must have been. Guilt like that will no doubt stick with him. But I bet you that will NEVER happen again.
How do you keep your composure with mean kids like that? I don't know that I will be able to react with class when one of my children gets bullied. My heart aches for Luke and he's not even my child.
You handled the situation perfectly!! Go mom!
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