Dear babies

A note on regrets:

Five weeks ago Jack had a little surgery to repair his herniated incision from his open heart surgery. He was having another procedure done already (circumcision--if you must know) and the doctor suggested doing it since he'd already be under anesthesia. The hernia wasn't bothering anything and would only bulged out when Jack cried or used his abdominal muscles. It was the size of maybe a large marble. But--since he was already going under we thought, "why not"

Well. . .five weeks later this decision has proven to be a giant mistake and continues to be a thorn in our sides. The incision has been infected twice already, causing a hospital stay, is now larger than a golf ball and just tonight I noticed that it appears to be getting infected AGAIN.

Sh**!

Here's the thing babies: if I could go back and not do it--I absolutely freaking would! But, I can't so what will I do with that? . . .learn from it. Be more cautious in the future? Consider the potential upside and weigh that against any possible downside? Yes; both of those things. But I won't beat myself up over it (okay--a tiny bit).

People often say that they have no regrets. This is ridiculous. I have regret. I don't let it interfere with moving forward though. Use it, learn from it but don't let it hold you hostage. Forgive yourself. You did what you thought was right at the time. Move forward--wiser for the wear. Maya Angelou famously wrote that she "wouldn't take nothing from my journey"

AMEN Maya! This is so true--looking back I can see how some of my bad choices or just the breaks of life caused me to grow substantially and that without them I wouldn't be where I currently am.

No? --even when you were doing it you knew it was stupid? Forgive yourself. AND STOP DOING STUPID CRAP. Remember, if someone ever offers you Meth; your mother painstakingly cut up your food so you wouldn't choke. Remember that.